Contract not renewed?
Didn’t get in to the school of your choice?
Didn’t get that film role?
Regina George kicked you out of the Plastics for not wearing pink on Wednesdays?
Call it what you will, paint it with a different brush, but at the end of the day it’s the same old story:
We’ve all been there. And whatever the reason, it always hurts. And when it’s unexpected, it can be scary. But unfortunately, rejection is an unavoidable part of life. And if you haven’t experienced rejection, allow me to be the first one to say, mazel tov: you are either a fantastic liar or you are living in your comfort zone. And if that’s the case, read on because eventually, we all experience rejection. No one is immune. NO ONE.
So how do you deal?
Eat your feelings?
Or just go straight do denial?
We all have different ways of coping but if you’re someone who struggles with rejection, here are some of the things that have helped me move forward.
1. Try something new.
Remember those choose your own adventure books? Get in touch with that curiosity and find something that excites you. Consider where you’re at right now and use it as a way to find a new beginning. It could be as simple as trying a new class and learning a new skill or applying to a job that is not in your field. Staying busy will allow you to dwell less on being rejected and focus more on possibilities.
2. Nourish your mind, body and soul.
Engage in self care but don’t fall down the hole of self-loathing. You need to keep moving forward but give yourself time to relax, release and repeat (as needed). And then get moving. Get back to your favourite zumba class. Eat foods that are delicious and make you feel good. And get on the meditation train. Listen to a funny podcast. Write everything down in a journal before you go to bed. But don’t get stuck in this moment because this moment will pass.
Books are the gift that keeps on giving. Reading allows you to learn new things, provide a momentary escape and can help you get back to a better head-space. Now I’m not saying you should go and raid the self help aisle but find something that will help you see yourself through a different lens. Find some new characters you can relate to or learn a new point of view. Whatever you choose, allow your self to be enlightened and inspired.
Connect with the people who accept, understand and support you unconditionally and allow yourself to be open to meeting new people. While some might disagree, sharing with others about what you’re going through allows you to connect with people authentically. More often than not you will find people who have been in your shoes and by being open, you can heal and grow together.
5. Daily Affirmations.
Anyone remember Stuart Smalley? The cardigan wearing SNL-character who recited daily affirmations into the mirror?
Why was Stuart so funny? Because he externalized all the awkwardness of dealing with pain. But one thing I learned from Stuart is that reciting a daily affirmation can empower, uplift and spark change. It’s totally corny but over time, positive self-talk works. My challenge for you is to wake up tomorrow, say something positive about yourself and set an intention for your day. Over time, you might see things a little differently.
I really hope this post was helpful because I can tell you, this was extremely healing for me to share with you. Rejection isn’t pleasant but the greatest thing about it is you get to learn, grow become better because of it. Because if you take anything away from this, true innovation comes from failure. Rise up and shine. Carpe Diem and all that stuff.
Wising you an abundance of sunshine for the week.
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