It’s amazing how life will run it’s ordinary course and in the blink of an eye, one event can change everything.
As I sit in my parents backyard, my childhood home in Thornhill, I wonder: How did this happen?
The last few months have not been easy for my family.
My mom is still in the hospital after having a fall at home. And 2 weeks ago, my dad was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with Pericarditis (a virus that causes inflammation to sac surrounding his heart). To make matters worse, he was all by himself when this happened. I haven’t seen my mother in 7 months and I’m learning the isolation she and my father have experienced due to quarantine has effected their overall health.
Since being discharged, I’ve been staying with my Dad to ensure he gets some support systems in place. As the primary caregiver of my mother, his healthy and safety is so important. I wear a mask in the house and I wear plastic gloves.
I wish I could hug him. But I can’t. (He’s a senior and immunocompromised).
And I want to tell him everything is going to be okay. But I won’t. Because there are still so many unknowns.
I’m not sure if I’m doing too much, or too little. I have always felt as though I have been too much for my parents (I have one speed: fast, and one volume, loud).
So I’m focusing on the little things.
- Making sure he has groceries and that he’s eating.
- Fixing the coffeemaker (I’m no hero, it just needed a good descaling).
- Reminding him to walk a little every day.
- Doing odd jobs around the house (disassembling a shelving unit and rebuilding it with Adam).
And as much as it feels a little weird to be here, it feels like the next best step.
My parents have been together for 49 years and 39 of those years were in this house, a house that built a family. There are a lot of memories here. Through good times and bad times, we made it out okay. But the thought of my parents not living here, is completely heartbreaking. I see the sadness in my Dad’s eyes after he’s come home from a visit with my Mom.
I know I can’t stay here forever. But I’m doing the best I can with what I have in front of me.
It’s all I can do right now. Sometimes, it’s all we can ever do.